I often wonder why uPSD officers think that they can laugh and joke with an accused officer at court or during an interview. Is it something to do with their warped sense of perspective and their wish for ultra correctness in that they fail to realise that they are the target for venom and spite almost as soon as they walk out of earshot. Do they really think that the officer is going to miraculously be their friend after they have tried to have them convicted. Recently, I heard of a uPSD officer, upon hearing that the officer had been found not guilty at court for an assault matter, invited him for a coffee at a Starbucks around the corner. After being politely told no, the uPSD officer then had the gall to pass the innocent officer a telephone number and state that they were “available to talk if there was any welfare need.” I nearly choked on my bile when I heard it.

At a recent interview, I witnessed two star turns from uPSD laugh and joke about the mistakes they made during the interview. They forget the caution (and laughed). They switched the tape off before giving the end time (and laughed). They turned a laptop on during the interview (and laughed) when the opening windows sound drowned out a question. After a change of tapes they forgot to give the caution correctly again (and laughed). The best of it was that during the disclosure they actually handed over a copy of the officer’s notebook and within it was their interview plan. Dumb and Dumber were brilliant during the first tape when they could not find the plan in their paperwork and we eventually had to hand it back. All on tape, unfortunately for them. Oh how we laughed (to ourselves and professionally, of course).

It got me thinking about the type of individual who enters into a department designed to get your mates convicted of criminal offences and/or sacked. What is their career aim? Once again, I have no issue with a bent cop being charged and convicted but, as there are so few bent cops, the uPSD seem to spend enormous amounts of time pinning charges on to innocent cops and formulating conspiracies out of thin air. When your average CID officer can put together an armed robbery file whilst still dealing with all the rubbish thrown at him in a matter of weeks why do uPSD take months and years to put a file together for harassment?

Undercover uPSD

I have a theory. It is because most of the uPSD are officers who cannot actually do the job in the real world. They work in the closeted environment where they know that they can get away with almost anything. They have neither the skill, ability, tenacity or courage to go out and deal with an angry man. Most appear to have been uPSD for a substantial part of their service which very often means they don’t know the law or the correct protocols to a sufficient standard. If only they were competent we would have less officers facing trumped up investigations and less stress and turmoil in their career. We would have timely investigations and any erroneous cop would be able to be properly investigated.

Thanks for the emails I have had to noblecausecorruption@hotmail.co.uk.